Faith Matters Podcast

How Can I Belong

Find Your People, Day 4By Jennie AllenNothing in my relational life has helped me more than coming to terms with these simple truths: You will disappoint me. I will disappoint you. God will never disappoint us.Accepting this shifts our expectations from people to God. And He can handle our expectations. But because our current world has been built on such rampant independence, it will take deliberate intention to return to the kinds of relationships that God had in mind for us to enjoy.The most frequent question I am asked online is “How do I make friends?”This is something sixty-year-olds are asking, twenty-five-year-olds are asking, and young moms are asking. I get it, because the art of making and keeping friends was never really spelled out for most of us.But is it possible that we are asking the wrong question? What if that intimate circle we’re craving is actually found in the wider network of the village that we’ve been missing?We wait for those perfect few friends to come along, and then we look to them to be everything to us. What if the power of a little team of friends is that each one brings different things to your life?I have fun friends who always make me laugh. I have wise friends who give me advice and call me out. I have encouraging friends who cheer me on and tell me what I’m doing well. I have challenging friends who disrupt my thinking or push me to take greater risks.If I expected one or two people to fill all those roles, no one would ever hit the mark. Also true: if I didn’t appreciate the unique roles my friends play in my life, I might be mad that my “challenger” friend doesn’t encourage me more, or my “wise” friend isn’t fun all the time.If I start to see that God has put different people in my life to bless me in different ways, then I can both embrace who they are and rest in what I bring to those relationships.Maybe the question we are really asking behind the question of “How do I make friends?” is this: “How can I belong to an intimate community of people?”God, what “village” do You have for me? How can I grow in intimacy with that community? I pray for eyes to see how different people in my life show me different aspects of You. Amen.As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

We Are At War

Find Your People, Day 3By Jennie AllenSo if this plan is so good for us, why don’t we just prioritize this plan, fight for this plan, and make this plan unfold every day of our lives?Two words: the enemy. If deep, loving, intimate connection is God’s goal, then the enemy might hate nothing more than for you and me to enjoy deep, loving, intimate connection!No wonder it feels like every aspect of our lives is stacked against our connection to other people. It is.The Bible warns us, “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).We are called to be a community of people, on a mission, delighting in God, delighting in each other, redeemed and reconciling the world, inviting them into this family.Yes, community is to encourage you. Yes, it is to comfort you. Yes, it is to fight for you. But ultimately community is meant to open the doors wide to every person on earth and invite them into a family that exists forever with God.And so of course the enemy wants to divide us. He wants to see us fighting against each other rather than for each other.We must understand the war we’re in. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians, “we are not ignorant of [Satan’s] designs” (2 Corinthians 2:11). Satan knows that we have no better defensive weapon in life than having the people who love God rally around us, fight for us, and fight with us.So how the heck are we supposed to fight terrifying stats of loneliness, the devil and his plan to sabotage connection, and the fundamental way that society is set up, and instead build what God cares most about?You know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.”Well, it takes a village to create a full and thriving life for us adults too. But this village living will not happen by accident. We’ll have to build a new life.God, sometimes I feel as if my circumstances and our culture and my past hurts make it impossible for me to have a real connection with others. But I know that You are greater than the enemy who is in the world! Show me how to fight for the relationships You want me to have. Amen.Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.Ephesians 6:10‭-‬13in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.2 Corinthians 2:11Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8

The Center of Our Affection

Day 2The Center of Our AffectionsThe fact that we were made in the image of God, who is relationship, means our longing for healthy, mutually submissive, supportive, interdependent relationships isn’t simply us craving something good for us, like vegetables or vitamins; we are craving the fundamental reason we were created. We weren’t just built for community; we were built because of it. Woven into the fiber of our souls is a pattern for experiencing an intimate relationship with God and then expressing that love in our families and communities and churches.How arrogant are we to think that even though the God of the universe exists in a community, our little fragile finite selves can survive without it!But here is where we go wrong. We look to people to complete and fill what only God was meant to fill. This is the primary reason we all are so unhappy with each other. We have put our hope in imperfect people. But that hope can be answered only in God Himself. Eternity was set in our hearts, Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, which means only a relationship with an eternal God can fill our hearts.If God is in the center of our relational circle, we will be fulfilled, and out of that fulfillment, we can bless others. But if people are in the center of our relational circle, we end up pulling on others to meet needs that they can’t ever fully meet.Jesus said it clearest. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He said all the commandments could be boiled down to this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).When you have God in the right place, at the center of your affections, you will more likely get people right. Your relationship with God comes first, and that relationship is meant to send you into loving others.God, forgive me for so often valuing others’ opinions of me more than what You think of me. For putting hope in things and relationships that can never satisfy me like You can because they were never meant to. I want You to be the center of my life so that I can love others well. Amen.

Created for Relationship

Find Your People, Day 1By Jennie AllenLoneliness. Do you feel it too? That sinking feeling that you aren’t seen, you aren’t known, and you are on your own to face whatever difficult thing life is throwing at you. Do you ever wonder if maybe you’re the only person who feels this alone? You aren’t, by the way.You aren’t alone in feeling alone.I struggle with loneliness more than I like to admit. I’m not good at being needy. I’m needy, just not good at admitting it. And that has consistently damaged my relationships.I’ve hurt people.They’ve hurt me.I have failed my friends. Some have forgiven me, and some have walked away. While I’m doing better than I used to, I’m far from perfect in this area. And yet I’m going to keep working at it. Because the more I look into the why of our neediness and the problem of our loneliness, the more convinced I am that at our core we are made to be fully known and fully loved. Loved and known regularly and over time by family members, close friends, mentors, coworkers. God built us for deep connection to be part of our day-in, day-out lives, not just once in a while in the presence of a paid therapist.In fact, God existed in a relationship with Himself before any of us were here. It’s called the Trinity. God is one, and God is three.Scripture says that the Son exists to glorify the Father and that the Father exists to glorify the Son. It says that the Spirit exists to glorify them both. (See John 16-17.) What that means is that they help each other, they promote each other, they serve each other, and they love each other. What’s more, this exchange has been going on for all eternity.It means that our God has been relational forever. It means that He created us out of a relationship for a relationship—and not a relationship that is surface level or self-seeking. No, the relationship He has in mind for us is a sacrificial, intimate, moment-by-moment connection.Relational. It’s who we are because it’s who God is.In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.Genesis 1:1‭-‬2And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.John 17:5The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.Colossians 1:15‭-‬17God, I need You! And I need others around me. You created me for You and You created me for relationships. What connections are you calling me to today? Amen.

Beautiful Dirt

Centered, Day 5By Jason Brown, from the book Centered: Trading Your Plans for a Life That MattersFirst Fruits Farm, when you get down to its bare essentials, is just a thousand acres of dirt. It’s filled with plenty of other things: trees and ponds and barns and crops, and the dirt might be the last thing you see. To most people’s eyes, dirt’s not much to look at. It’s brown and boring. Get dirt on your hands, and you scrub it away with soap and water. Get mud on your shoes, and you scrape it off. We don’t like dirt. It’s about the lowest, humblest material on God’s green earth. But put a seed in that dirt and give it a little sun and water and care, and it grows into something useful, even beautiful. According to the Bible, we’re made of dirt and formed of dust from the ground. And what does God do? He takes us and plants a seed in us. He molds us in His own image. Sometimes when we look around the landscape of our lives, we see something dirty. Ugly. We see failures and disasters and setbacks. We look at those grimy moments in our lives and wish we could just wash them away. But God uses those mo­ments to grow something good.Something awesome and true. Something miraculous. He uses humble people, and people who’ve been humbled, to do great works for Him and His kingdom. But we have to trust Him.We have to allow Him to work through us, even if sometimes it can feel painful. I look around our farm and think about how good, and how generous, our God is sometimes. How even during the darkest of times—those times when our finances were such that we could barely pay our bills—God sustained us through it all. How He blessed us when we needed it, how He gave us strength and courage when we felt as though we couldn’t take another step in this life. I look at all the miracles He’s given us. I’m not talking about greenhouses or roosters; I’m talk­ing about our children. Our family. Our love for each other. We have all kinds of needs. But what do I really need? What has been the only thing I’ve ever needed? God. Just God.Heavenly Father, I trust that you are good and work for my good. I will remember your sustaining love.Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.Genesis 2:7Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.Matthew 13:8But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”Matthew 13:23But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.2 Corinthians 3:16‭-‬18

Risk and Reward

Centered, Day 4By Jason Brown, from the book Centered: Trading Your Plans for a Life That MattersOur God is an awesome God. He can do anything. He is with us. Most Christians believe this with all their hearts. We know we worship an Almighty Ruler, the Maker of heaven and earth. We say He loves us and is involved in our lives. We say we depend on Him for everything. But do we ever put it to the test? When I was in the NFL, I worshipped God with my lips but put my real trust in my bank account. We love God if it doesn’t cost us too much. We put our trust in Him as long as we’ve got backup plans in place. But when we don’t risk, we don’t reap the rewards, either. After Jesus told me to “pour it all down the drain,” and I did, I wanted to go deeper in my rela­tionship with God. So in a period of calm and comfort, I prayed a new prayer. “God, You’re amazing,” I said. “You’ve done some amazing things in my life. You’ve just begun writing a beautiful testi­mony in my life. Make my life something that when people look at me, when people hear my story, they can’t help but see You through it all.” Then I said something I hadn’t planned on praying. Maybe I knew that for peo­ple to see God in my life, they’d need to see, to feel, how much I trusted Him to take care of me, in good times and bad. I wanted to emulate the heroes in the Bible—those people who were so close to the Almighty that they relied on Him as they would a flesh-and-blood father. With that in mind, I added, “God, I want You to take me to a place where I de­pend on You. Where I lean on You for everything. Where I cry out to You, God.”Be careful what you pray for.When you follow God—truly follow Him, body and soul—you may find, as I have, that God really is with us and that He’s an awesome God indeed. To trust Him leaves you vulnerable. The rains may come. But you know what? You feel the warmth of God’s love on your face too. And sometimes those showers you feel? They’re the showers of blessings.What do you find difficult to entrust to God? What, if anything, prevents you from praying Jason’s prayer? Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.Matthew 16:24‭-‬27In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.Luke 14:33Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.Romans 5:1‭-‬5